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Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Shea, for this special occasion, a little reg'ler cake will do most folks no harm... but if you'd truly prefer a BTD-compliant wedding cake, let's give it a shot! I do hope this column "hits the air" in time to be of some help to you. :-D
Depending on your tolerance of grain, sugar and dairy, whether the cake will be homemade or ordered from a baker, and the size of your guest list, there are a number of options to consider.
(1) White spelt is an excellent substitute for the wheat flour used in cake recipes. If your organic grocer doesn't carry organic white spelt flour, it can be obtained through the Purity Foods or Frankferd Farms sites, for example. It is an avoid for nonsecretor Os, but if you "test-drive" some spelt bread before deciding on your wedding cake recipe, you'll know if it'll pass muster for you on this one occasion. We don't want the bride doubled over due to the wrong cake grain!! There are spelt cake recipes galore on the Internet and in cookbooks too numerous to list here, so if you can enlist the cooperation of the baker, you're set!
(2) Eggwhite-based batter is another way to get round the wheat problem. Many commercial bakers will make a genoise, or "flourless" cake for you. Because these cakes are softer, moister and of a more delicate texture, it may affect your original design -- wider than tall may be necessary in order to avert collapse! Nut flours (almond, walnut, hazelnut) take two minutes to make in a blender, and are great additions to genoises for the "stand-up" texture they confer, but if your guest list is too large to ascertain whether any person may be allergic to nuts, it may be better to use another method rather than risk a case of anaphylactic shock at the reception. :-} As with spelt, there are scads of flourless cake recipes on the Net, and in a multitude of cookbooks. Browse, pick & choose as your heart desires.
(3) If you'd like an alternative to sugar, consider vegetable glycerine, a remarkable, lectin-free liquid sweetener made from coconuts. Get this: it actively stabilizes blood sugar levels rather than bouncing them around as refined sugar does. It's magic in baked goods -- tastes like sugar, no odd or overpowering flavor or aftertaste like stevia or molasses, and adds loft and moisture. NOW and Heritage are two brands which come to mind. Your health food store may carry one or both, and in any case they can order some for you. At the moment, Harvest Moon has the 16 oz. NOW product on sale. :-D
(4) Buttercream frosting can be made with butter or ghee, sugar or veg gly, and your chosen flavorings (almond, lemon... vanilla is neutral for O secretors now, by the way!). Glaze is a snap with veg gly as the base.
"Sucrose" is the two-molecule simple sugar that we know as... well, as "sugar." :-) It is present in many whole foods along with its companion elements. The immense quantities of refined varieties of sugar in the average American diet are contributors to type II diabetes, immune dysfunctions, and a load of other ailments. No lectin is involved -- it's rather a metabolic tolerance issue. But again, most people deal with small amounts without adverse result. Let your own body be your guide. :-)
Fruit is best eaten alone, on an empty stomach. When eaten with other items, grains in particular, it tends to push its way to first-in-line in the digestive queue. That said, many people have no trouble with fruit/meat combinations in meals, and some enjoy fruit/grain/dairy desserts without complaint. Test your own reactions eating it with or after foods of various kinds, and look for discomfort or gas -- if present, you may be better off including it as your day-starter.
I wish you all the best, and truly hope these notes will contribute to a very happy and healthy wedding day for you and your husband ~ and many joyful years to follow! Good Luck!!