Granted, you could make a waldorf that is more like a waldorf than the one I made this morning, out of explorer neutrals and superfoods. This one however was interesting, in a fun way.

I finally broke out my sprouter that I've never used, and made radish sprouts. It only takes a tablespoon of seeds to get a lot of sprouts, and they're so fresh and nice compared to storebought. Radish sprouts have a lot of heat in them, and I had a lot of sprouts to eat, so I decided to combine them with something sweet...diced apples. I dressed it with a little olive oil, lemon juice and a bit of sea salt. It was a great way to wake myself up!

Now to break out my flaker, because I'm out of storebought quinoa flakes. They have been a breakfast staple. I don't know if it will work for tiny little quinoa, but I have other grains it should work on if not quinoa. I did realize I was going wrong to put butter on the porridge, butter in an explorer toxin, but there's a new HFS in town that sells organic ghee for a pretty decent price, so I'm stocked up on that again.

I also finally faced my fear and ate some fresh mozzarella. It was yummy. I think I'll keep dairy to once or twice a week for now.

I don't think I've ever eaten so many vegetables and live foods in my life. I feel like my mind and body are really getting into the groove of this plan. Yesterday's taekwondo was tough, but it really makes me tougher, more than just physically. My past periods of noncompliance may have been due to explorer dietary needs, which were a tiny bit mismatched, or it may have been just stress and lack of discipline...probably all of the above. I'm glad to move forward yet again, with a plan I can stick with.

One of our favorite movies to watch repeatedly (next to Princess Bride) is Joe Versus The Volcano. The main character, Joe Banks, is most certainly an Explorer. He's constantly sick or coming down with something, until he's told that his worst fear is true and he is dying. He then embarks on a great journey to a tropical volcano, when he rediscovers his inward strength (and tests his longevity a few times). It's a quirky movie, with some impressive symbolism and music.

One of the main symbols is a lightning bolt

It symbolizes the crooked path he takes to finally find love and courage.

Another small thing it reminds me of is the crooked path I've taken in discovering health and expanding my life beyond myself.

At one point he asks a woman, who is contemplating suicide because she's miserable living off her father's money, he says something like "if you have to choose between doing what you're afraid of doing and killing yourself, then do what you're afraid of doing?" (become independent from her father).

I was afraid to try the BTD, and I was afraid to really see if I might be an explorer, I was afraid to start Tae Kwon Do, and of course I was very afraid to become a mom. It's all about taking risks, taking a leap, and putting yourself in the vulnerable position that allows you to discover and grow. As an adult it's too easy to forget that and to forget "how big" life is, we need to step outside of ourselves and our established ways of thinking, to find reminders.

Everytime I go the the local HFS I like to buy myself a little treat. Chocolate or kombucha are now out, and I haven't been crazy about either lately, and kombucha always made me feel weird. Today I didn't glance at the nutty bars and whatnot, all I wanted was a radish. I had to wait to get home and wash it before I could eat it, so it wasn't as convenient as the former treats, but I enjoyed it! I picked out the one with the best leaves (organic) because the leaves are a diamond.

Got up this morning and grabbed an organic Fuji apple for a pre-taekwondo snack. Class was good, not as hard a workout as Tuesday, but we sweated plenty. I'm still sore from Tuesday, but have energy despite the pain. I do make use of a heating pad at night, and that helps quite a bit. The sauna helps too, though I rarely get into it very soon after class.

Thursdays are always crazy busy in the morning. Once I finally got my son off to school, I came home and ate the leftover lemon/thyme lamb chops I made last night, and some cooked millet mush with molasses added.

It is a shock to get off the O-non or gatherer diet and discover some super sweet superfoods. Apples, apple juice, honey, molasses, maple syrup, rice syrup...all superfoods? Whoa. It's hard to eat any of these more than once a day, but so far I haven't had any dips in blood sugar.

I made lentil soup for dinner, and tossed in a couple lamb bones for flavor and nutrition. Not quite the same result as a ham hock, maybe next time I'll try a natural turkey bacon. I used onions, carrots, garlic, ghee, olive oil, thyme, bay leaf, salt, chicken stock, and a little curry. DH loved it, as did little A, they love bean soups. I'd like to work on the recipe a bit more, and get some different lentils for soup (I think the french green lentils work best, according to Cook's Illustrated, all I had were split red lentils which get pretty mushy/mealy). I also came as close as I ever have to overdosing on fruits and vegetables, with a salad of each.

I picked up some broccoli sprouts, and bought radish seeds for sprouting. I'd like to somewhat recreate the Yo Soy Mucho bowl from Cafe Gratitude. The guacamole and salsa will have to wait a few months, but adding something flavorful to a base of quinoa with sprouts on top sounds really appealing. I have some bulk grains that I need to use up, as I don't know how long they keep. I packaged up the amaranth when I thought I was a hunter, because I was sure I wouldn't get it used up fast enough. I used a vacuum sealer and put in an oxygen absorber packet. I then proceeded on to the quinoa, since I was already on a roll. I ran out of the bags before starting on the millet, so I need to try the attachment for sealing a can, as I have a few of those. It's a couple extra steps, but I'll get it done...that's easier than braving wal-mart with the boys to find more bags.

I figured last night that it would be better to be sure than sorry, so I remeasured my upper and lower legs. What I remembered to be almost equal, lower 1/4 inch longer, turned out to be upper leg longer by an inch. I guess I wasn't too careful once I figured my ring finger was equal, because that sealed my fate. All the times I said to myself, "wouldn't it be nutty if I were an explorer" but ignored the actual possibility, are over.

My body type matches explorer best, I'm more muscular than a gatherer, but nowhere near lanky or ectomorphic. My index fingerprints don't match, though I don't have a radial loop, only the more common ulnar loops. My incisors are a bit spade-like, and I have no carabelli's cusp. So, I can hunt a bit, I can gather a bit, but mostly I will explore.

I don't know why I didn't think I could be an explorer. Without BTD I'd be too sensitive to do just about anything, I know that much. There would be migraines, dizziness, spaciness, weakness, headaches, and more dizziness. BTD has helped quite a bit, but there's still a sliver of remaining problems, and I'm hopeful to be able to be comfortable in a house with air fresheners or scented candles (though mine will never have them), or around heavily scented people (though I may never be one).

There seem to be a lot of explorers in may family. We can't have a large family gathering where everyone can eat the same things (and not because anybody but me is following BTD or GTD, because of severe allergies and intolerances). Family gatherings are also quite sparse on the fragrances added to the mix. Gallbladders are disposable in this family, and I'm one of the few who still has one. Anemia is also fairly common and long-term. The celiac disease among more than half of us is more of a hunter trait, but entirely possible in an explorer as well. Adverse reactions to medications are also commonplace in a few of us.

I'm not as athletic as an average hunter. I enjoy working out, but the coordination for sports does not come naturally. I can be clumsy, especially when hormones are fluctuating, and it's not uncommon for me to have some accidental injury here or there on me at any point in time.

This is a big shock to me, even though I see it clearly now. I'm still in shock, but eager to get on track with my new plan. I'm unsure of my new identity, where I fit into it all, but after my immune system downturn, I'm eager for exploring the truth. And hey, if they tell me I'm something different at the clinic, I won't have any trouble adjusting to the other two possibilities. Without this realization today, they might have a fainting explorer in their office when they break me the news. I'm ready for anything! Well I would be a bit surprised to be a Nomad...

Today was overcast, windy, and cold. It's the time of year that I start dragging, due to Seasonal Affective Disorder. This was the first day of it. I could really feel it in Tae Kwon Do. My confidence just wasn't where it should be, and my energy was low.

The good news is that when I got cold and tired later in the day, I discovered a new use for my far infrared sauna. I used it and found that it really perked me up. It reminded me of college days when I'd spend time recharging in the tropical room of the greenhouse. It gave me more energy than a nap would have, and got me into the kitchen to cook dinner, rather than leave everyone to forage. It wasn't an exciting or elaborate dinner, but at least I put something on the table.

Dragging is ok, as long as I keep moving. Today was just too cold to get outside and walk, but the workout and the sauna definitely helped. Before my next taekwondo class, I'll be sure to use the sauna to warm up.