Today I finally found some macadamia butter, with no cashews (why did they start adding cashews to all nut butters?). I was very excited to try it until I realized I had no crackers without rice in them (rice and I no longer get along). Time to get creative.

I'd never tried Ants On A Log, celery sticks typically spread with peanut butter and topped with raisins. It always sounded weird, but I had celery sticks I had prepared while my breakfast cooked, so I decided to try it. So spread some macadamia butter on celery sticks and then top with raisins and/or dried cranberries. It was delightfully good... It's got crunch, it's got creaminess, it's got sweetness. More satisfyingthan a twix bar (not that I have those bright in my memory, I didn't fall that far off the wagon!).

I'm sure it would be good with almond butter and other dried fruits like goji berries or dried blueberries.

Sometime I must make crackers out of almonds or amaranth or quinoa...but celery is nice too.

I am happy to report at the end of my second week of true compliance and determination, that I have lost 5 pounds. Granted, I have a good deal more to lose, so this is just a small portion of the goal, but I am thrilled nonetheless. I could lose 50-70 pounds to be my healthy weight (depending on muscle mass from martial arts training, which I intend to also resume in earnest in the fall).

I smiled when I learned the dates of the next IfHI conference, just a few days before my 1 Year Reveal Day... That's the day I will do a full report including before and after photos. Fine timing, I think. I won't have my black belt yet, which is sad, but I'll be closer to it, and I will be the example of health that I know I should be. I didn't go to the last conference mainly because I couldn't afford it, but also because I was too embarrassed by my obvious lack of compliance.

In the past two weeks I've only had sugar twice, once because a stevia sweetened drink also had sugar and I didn't read the ingredients (I needed some green tea caffeine to drive home late, so I grabbed it too fast). The other was when I took my boys to the mall and they got See's Chocolate. I got myself one piece of dark chocolate covered candied ginger, and didn't like how sweet it was. Tastes sure can change with compliance!

I'm a bit up in the air on exactly "what" I am, as a blood test for secretor type said I am a secretor. So I am redoing the salivary secretor test, as I've read in a few places that it is more accurate, but perhaps the first result needs confirmed. For now I am just doing what works...which is mainly an O non-secretor blood type diet. I know the difference it made to switch from secretor to non-secretor, although genotype diet would make many of the same changes for me that that switch did, as I'd probably be a hunter, which is very similar to O-nonsecretor.

When I got the blood result and the clinic said that's what they go by, I happily jumped into some hunter and secretor foods that I couldn't have before. I came back to just enjoying my O-nonnie diet however. If my salivary test says I'm a secretor then I'll change up a few things, but I missed pinto beans more than I loved garbanzo beans, so I guess you could say I'm happy either way. Sometimes when you've tried a few things, you can follow your gut instinct to know what is right... when genotype diet gave me a bunch of dairy, I knew that wouldn't sit right. Then I got the SWAMI and it knew that fact as well, whatever secretor or genotype I come out as, I still get little to no dairy, just a limited amount of sheep milk cheeses.

So I've been every type an O can be, and in the end I'm just me. A more enlightened and healthy me, but still an individual. You can bet I'll be waiting excitedly for the "final result" to come in, though.

I had mentioned that compliance was a bit harder for a couple days, but I've done pretty well anyway. Part of the problem is that apparently I have a rice allergy. I rarely eat rice lately (this week), but I did once and got a little sick the next day. Then I had a UNI bar, which are lovely, if you're not allergic to rice...a great meal replacement for those times when you forget to eat a meal... but they have rice protein in them, and I got sick. Something about getting sick, is it really weakens me and my resolve, so I did have a square of ghiradelli to "rebuild my strength" LOL. That doesn't work, but I did manage to not have any more. White rice doesn't bother me as much as brown, but I've sworn off refined carbs, so quinoa is it now.

After that, I have felt a need a few times for a "treat" but I have realized and kept telling myself that it's not a "treat" if it's not healthy. So last night I made pizza, and for my crust I went the grain free route. It did have a little sheep milk dairy, which seems to agree with my hunter-ish body. So it was 1/2 cup pecorino romano, 2 eggs, and 1 cup flax meal, a little garlic salt, oregano and basil. Pre-cook in 350 degrees for 8 minutes, top and cook another 15 minutes. It did the job. I topped it with mostly vegetables, some pecorino romano and sheepsmilk feta, and some fresh slices of tomato. It was filling and good, and didn't make me sick (even with all that fiber).

So that was a lovely treat. Another treat was homemade gingerale. So I bought one of those sodastream machines, so I don't have to keep lugging cases of pellegrino. With it, I carbonate filtered water to drink plain or mix with whatever. I've blogged before about making gingerale, but basically I grate up fresh ginger and boil it in water, then filter the ginger out, add honey or agave, and add to sparkling water to taste. That has been a good occasional treat. I try to keep the sweeteners very occasional, but when it helps me avoid worse stuff, it's worth it. I still keep my green tea unsweetened, especially early in the day as anything sweet early in the day starts my cravings swinging.

Breakfast is my favorite meal, and the easiest for an O like myself to make compliant and grain free.

Basically it is different variations on spinach and eggs. Usually I have some onions and sweet peppers on hand, so I saute those first in some olive oil, throw in any other vegetable that needs softened up, then add some fresh spinach leaves. Then add eggs, salt, red pepper flakes if desired, and stir until done. Throw in leftover meat from dinner too! If you want more flavor, try a tiny sprinkle of toasted sesame oil and umi plum vinegar.

If eggs aren't an option, or if you are out of eggs, instead add broth and turn it into a soup. A bit of seaweed is a nice addition, as soups like this are a standard breakfast in Japan.

Yesterday was a harder day to be compliant, not sure exactly why other than busyness and a few small things not going as planned. I remained determined and kept up 95% compliance. That was hard, but not as hard as getting back on track later.

Is this too easy? I expected it to be harder. I guess previous experience/success, optimism about life, and a stubborn determination are working well for me.

3 days of 99% compliance: lots of veggies and beneficials, as much meat as I like (which isn't too much, probably the minimum for an O) and no big bad avoids. I was planning to have some grains, but haven't felt the need. If I ever feel like it, I'll make some rice pudding with brown rice and almond milk. After a meal full of veggies, sweet potato, and beef, I'm not craving anything. Wow. I love breakthroughs like that...sometimes things just come together.

I've lost one pound, many to go, but I'm thrilled to see progress in the right direction. I still need to get some superfoods from my favorite health food store, but the fresh veggie snacks I've cut up and put in the fridge have been a useful tool on busy days.

Ok, I do have one craving... seaweed! I think I have some, so I'll go "indulge".

Today I lit a fire inside myself. It all started with reading a blog of a local health guru about BTD. It was all the usual criticisms about BTD. For some reason, this time those criticisms made me mad. For other reasons I was just plain fed up and mad at myself because sure I can defend it online, but currently I can't stand up in person and say "this diet works, just look at me". Sure I'm pretty healthy, way healthier than I was in my 20s when I found BTD and changed my life by following it... back when I left behind my healthy granola with a side of S.A.D. diet. But that is not what the first impression would be for somebody looking at me. I know how to lose weight with BTD, I know how to follow it, I have lost 40 pounds on two occasions with it (followed by two healthy pregnancies). But I haven't lost the weight from my second pregnancy, I've actually gained. So, I could stand up and say, "look at me, I haven't been following the BTD and look at the results of not following it"... for some reason that isn't too helpful. I've been gluten free, of course, but taking out gluten is not the only reason that BTD works.

That's the truth, the cold hard truth. My excuses have won: it's hard to cook and eat healthy meals when my children outnumber me, my body doesn't react negatively to the wrong foods like it did in the early days, we've had a period of a very very limited food budget and numerous financial stresses, (while I do think it is possible to eat healthy on a tiny budget, I do know it's not easy). I'm a stress eater who has been stressed to the max.

That's all over now though, the stresses that were out of my control are not gone. The children are older. We can afford to buy free range and organic whole foods. We had to move in with relatives, but will be moving back out on our own. In general, things are looking up in every way. While my kids are still higher maintenance than many kids, things are looking up. We all have appointments with occupational therapists for sensory integration problems that have plagued all of us for our whole lives (and play a big part in my stress eating), and I am hopeful it will make everything more manageable.

The best thing that happened to me today though was that I got miffed about that blog. Then I got fed up with my excuses and anxious to get to the point where I can convincingly help people who need the BTD to find and follow it . I weigh more than I ever have, but in one year I will have some awesome before and after pictures and an inspiring story to tell so that I can start helping others again.

I went through the fridge and threw out all the unhealthy foods that I was eating, and cordoned off the ones that other people in the house eat so that I won't even have to look at them. I put no feta cheese in my spinach and eggs this morning, I put no agave or anything in my green tea. No more sugar, very limited agave or honey, no more dairy of any kind, no refined carbs... more veggies, fruit, clean meats, and a few whole grains like quinoa and brown rice (about 1/2 cup per day). Snacks will include fresh veggies, nuts, cocoa beans, unsweetened dried fruit.

Time to get serious. In one year you can expect before and after pictures. June 13, 2013, it's in my calendar, come what may, the truth will continue to be told. I am stronger than my excuses.

Here's my new T-Shirt: Determination, the snack of champions.