In a good way that is... I've broken a barrier in my weight loss (by re-losing any that I had gained over the holidays and the illnesses that came with them) and now my weight is lower than it was at the end of my last weight loss run. When I talk like this, I sure sound like a gatherer, but my explorer-ness is not in question.

I saw a picture of myself in 1995. I had forgotten how quickly I had gained weight after mono in 1994, but I saw it in he picture. Mono, which effects the liver, is bad news, particularly for explorers, who are challenged to begin with as far as liver function and detoxification go. The path to weight gain in explorers is tied to sluggish detoxification abilities. I lost most of my ability to digest fats at that time, and started eating a low fat diet out of necessity. This was years before I knew anything of BTD or the dangers of wheat, so there was plenty of that in my diet. I know a few other people, most of them I suspect are explorers, who started a slide into weight gain and poor health in the years after having mono. For me, my Gilbert's syndrome also manifested itself in that time, with two bouts of jaundice. Luckily most of that is over now, although I still suspect mono for starting the autoimmune reactions in my gut (celiac) and thyroid (hashimoto's). The explorer's reactive immune system is another reason mono and similar infections can be bad news.

Explorers, take care of your livers.

I've been good on the diet, if you didn't guess by my weight loss. When I put in the work, I get the rewards, and I am incredibly grateful for that. (Sometimes I complain at the amount of work it is, at how hard it is for me compared to others, but then I kick a punching bag's into the corner of the TKD studio and feel better about my situation). I am going to get a black belt... just to know for myself that I am tough and can do anything. Even if I get thrown down on the ground a few times, I am going to do it. A year from now I may need to take a break, as I have a year to lose the weight and prove that I'm healthy enough, then I may decide to have another baby.

That is a monumental decision, and it would be easier to decide otherwise, it is such a monumental sacrifice that basically eats up three years of my life in the pregnancy/baby years, but I have a lot to offer a child. I have a stable home and family, which so many kids don't get these days, and I want to make room for one more. I admit that not all the genes I pass to them seem optimal, but with knowledge, they grow up strong.

Speaking of those bum genes, I'm having to use my knowledge a bit more on my oldest son. The milk and egg allergies that he was supposed to outgrow have actually gotten much worse, in the severe range. I've been letting him eat anything that doesn't make him sick, because he needs calories, but his immune system needs a little more individualized care. It is hard to carry an epi-pen for him, even though I'm pretty sure he'll never need it, I hate to think of the possibility. I have a constant regret for eating milk and eggs and a bit of gluten during pregnancy, which I now know are not optimal for me, and they certainly weren't optimal for him. I'm questioning if he could be a teacher, as I suspected he is, with all those allergies, I need to finally coax him into spitting into the tube for a secretor test. I made him a smoothie last night because he wanted a Costco Berry Smoothie, and for once the one I made was better than the one he wanted. That was good, because I also snuck in some bromelain and quercetin into the mix, and he loved it so much that he drank the whole thing.