I was reading Freakonomics last night, it certainly is a different way of looking at a lot of issues, but anyway, the thing that stood out for me was speaking about how people take no thought of many common dangers. Instead they prefer to dwell on and fear things that are statistically rare and completely outside of their control. I think that's the root of my attitude adjustment right now. The idea of MS was frightening, out of my control*, and not the most likely possibility. Now that it's kind of narrowed down to celiac disease or diabetes**, it just kind of a blah feeling. I don't feel the marching orders or the momentum to change my diet and lifestyle that I should. Ironically, it is something that certainly is more responsive to diet, so I should feel empowered, I should be reacting, or even overreacting, not under-reacting.

So I'm now turning it around and getting on top of my diet and exercise again. However common my problems are, I'm going to fight it with all I've got. I don't want to wean my baby or have more aggressive treatment. That is now my motivation!

Part of me wants to pity myself on the diabetic front, if I have that. I eat so much better than most people I know who don't get it, or don't get it until they're twice my age. It feels unfair, yet I've been dealt plenty of different cards in my life, not always fair ones, and got past it. Genetics can stink sometimes, yet it can be so much worse, so I'm thankful for the cards I have. I'll get tested for that further in a couple days. I almost had pre-diabetes in 1999, but brought it all back into line... until two bouts of pregnancy/postpartum overweightness may have put it back into action. I found out recently that I have an immediate family member who has it.

And I figure, hey, I've met my insurance deductible, so I might as well finally get into a gastroenterologist. That's something I should have done 5 years ago, but better late than never. He offered me the option of doing a gluten challenge (boy would that be a challenge!), and getting a biopsy. Since my side-effects from gluten are so dangerous, however, I had no trouble turning that down. So he just decided to assume I have it, and go from there. He's going to test my ADE&K levels and bone density. My general doctor just thinks everything is fine, and didn't want to look into any of that. It saves me money and unnecessary procedures, but sometimes it has been regrettable (i.e. I really should have gone into the gastro 5 years ago, my compliance to the GF diet would have been better those first years and that may have made a difference.)

*that's debatable of course, with plenty of stories and maybe even some hard data that certain things in the diet (gluten possibly) can exacerbate MS.