Did you know that lectins actually are endotoxins? They are most common in seeds and grains, as a mechanism for self-defense. So when I wrote a few months ago that I was sick of poisoning myself with foods, it was true. Unfortunately, lectins aren't the only toxins I've been exposed to. The cumulative effect of all this is what makes me feel not quite right, but on the bright side, it gives me something to write about!

As far as the rash goes, I'm not going to make it into the right dermatologist to get tested before the rash is completely gone, it's almost completely gone already. I'll get in though, if for no other reason than to become an established patient, so I can get in faster if there is a 'next time'. I hope for my nerve's sake that there is no next time. Better to be healed than to be diagnosed anyway, I guess. Maybe the same outcome with getting into a neurologist.

So the next question is, why do I poison my body with food? Why did I take a bite of my son's chicken taquito last night? My facial numbness returned soon afterwards...lips and cheeks. I was a bit bummed to read on them that they contained both corn and soy (yes, should have read before eating them, but I knew they were evil before I got there). So, now I don't know if it's corn or soy (or something else, or all of the above) that aggravates my condition. Is it an allergy? is it a toxin? is there really a difference? My immune system doesn't know, and neither do I.

Why do I make myself a human lab-rat? I know how to feel better, strict O-nonnie eating...I know that works. Why do I stray from it? Curiosity? Something about my view of food? Addiction to the foods that do me the most harm? Should I see a hypnotherapist or a hydrotherapist? Or maybe I should just get moving and get some exercise to deal with stress, rather than eating my way into numbness of body and mind. I think those questions are more important than satisfying my curiosity about what mechanism or what particular food is causing my woes. I envy those who started out on this way of eating and never felt a need to challenge it or cheat. The more I mess up, the more a learn about what each food does to me, but then, the more each food does to me.

People tell me I should relax and "live a little" when it comes to food, well, I'd rather live a little healthier and a lot longer than a temporary "live a little" with a scoop of bubblegum ice cream.