Archives for: October 2004, 22
Thanks to an interesting year, a soul-touching fall, and Kristin's Blog about SAD and the creative challenge, I've decided to embark on a new journey.
I've realized, with the death of my Grandmother who I loved, and of my doctor who I admired, that I would like to enrich myself and my life a bit more with creativity and things of the heart and spirit. When I was young, I was very religious, spiritual and creative. I loved to write and sing. My personality type was InfJ, I was visionary, I was a poet. I think I started stifling all those things when I stopped singing. It just became too much for me to let my whole soul hang out there in a song, I didn't like to be judged, even though very few people judged me. When my voice lost some of it's quality due to being hypothyroid, I felt more judged, and I quit (I have to also mention that I was battling with depression at the same time).
I went from a poet to a scientist. I do love both, but I think poet suits me better. They actually aren't that different, once you really get down to it. You can find as much beauty in a cell as you can in a symphony, but I wasn't looking at it both ways...I was worried about passing the next exam.
Why did I change? What was I avoiding? Well, I'm not going to dwell on that anymore, I'll find out as I go. I'm just going to relax and go with it. Now, where to find the time...
I have started walking again. My son fights the stroller, but settles down once he's stuck there. I push him up the steepest hills I can find, and they are steep...I've seen athletic and toned mountain bikers who had to get off and push their bike up some of these hills. He only can stand about 20-30 minutes of it, but I'm getting faster, so I usually go a little further each day. My legs are sore, so it must be working. It gets my heart rate up, without the impact of jogging. Some days are too cold for the baby, and it's only going to get colder, but I'll find some way to work it in. Maybe I'll get a treadmill afterall; I can put it at an incline and get my workout while he naps, if we don't make it out.
I have to also admit that my vacations have put a couple pounds back on. So today I've been compliant again. My son's gluten-free snacks are his alone, from now on, and no more candy!