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Conflicts and choices
I knew that DD going away to college would mean changes, but I had not anticipated the conflicts I have had with my Honorable Husband over meals and food choices.
He likes casseroles. Before we had children and long before the Blood Type Diet, I fixed casseroles 3-4 times a week. He likes noodles and rice with sauces. He likes bread even if his meal includes another starchy food.
Children severely limited the casseroles. Very few young children like their meat and vegetables mixed together, and ours were not exceptions. HH did not complain. For 24 years he ate meat and vegetables. After I started the BTD, he saw even less of his beloved grain dishes. Still he did not complain. He just ordered pasta dishes every time we went out to eat.
But with DD gone, he is no longer out numbered. There are two of us eating, and he is voicing his opinions. He is tired of salmon and cod. He wants catfish – not a beneficial choice. He is tired of olive oil on vegetables. He wants cheese sauce. He announced tonight that he likes green beans, but he does not like snow peas.
I had not expected this to be part of our empty nest adjustments. I want him to be happy with his food. I do not want him coming to the kitchen and sighing. At the same time, I do not want to return to they days when he had an upset digestive tract 1 week out of every three or four weeks. That was common before the BTD.
Both of us have choices. He has to decide whether to eat what is healthy or to eat what he likes. I have to decide whether to push healthy food or to let him have his way hoping that he will associate the way he feels with what he is eating. Interesting days are ahead.
3 comments
Use brown rice pasta since you already know that he likes pasta and rice. If you can't get it where you live it's available online from several different places. One is www.azurestandard and another one is www.ricepasta.com (alternate site adddress is www.tinkyada.com) Their phone number is 1-888-323-2388.
For a quick 'n' easy cheese sauce for him try the one in the ER4YT cookbook on page 320 called Soy Cheese Sauce.
Pour the sauce over steamed broccoli for him. Gently stir it into the cooked rice pasta for Mac'n'Cheese. Slather it on buns with turkey ham for hot cheddar 'n' ham sandwiches. Cover the cooked brown rice pasta with the soy cheese sauce and add in a bit of steamed bite-sized veggies that he likes for a Mac 'n' Cheese with Veggies casserole.
If you are an O that can handle soy than you should be able to have all of those as well.
As for the catfish, can you get monkfish? That might work for him more than the cod if you can get it where you live. As far as I can remember, O's can have monkfish, too.
Suzanne, it's time to rewrite expectations.
As part of the empty nest, certain things will change. Who cooks for who? How can you ask a nurse to distribute disease to her patients? This is what he is asking you to do. Correction, this is what it feels like to you and feelings matter.
Tell him that you are happy to help him with meals (grocery store shopping, organizing recipes, etc.) But cooking old fashioned meals is like giving a teenager whiskey. It is just too hard for you.
Ask him, how can both of you rewrite the the chore list. Maybe you both need to cook in the kitchen at the same time, side by side.
I always wanted a husband who would cook with me- each designed what they felt like (after all, the body craves what it needs - maybe what you need nutritionally is much different based on your exercise for the day).
Yes, ask him to cook with you. Grocery shop with you. He's got to be in control of his food, but you have to feel good about what you are serving......
Good luck.
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